May 06, 2004

nice blogses

We thanks our precious Grima for setting up lovely blogses. All we asssked him for was a fissssh, but never mind.

And has we had a call from Senator Kerry yet, asssssking us very very nicely to be his running mate? Has we? No precious, we has not.

Well, if nasssssty Democratses doesn't want us, then we'll just have to run all by ourselfs, won't we, preciousss? And then when we're the master, we'll see what to do with nice Senator Kerry. Maybe we gives it to the Orcses to play with. As long as they saves us the tasty bits.

As for Mr Bush, we doesn't think his war is going very well, is it precious? He is being much too nice to those prisonerses. We wonders what was he saving them for? To eat later?

As soon as we're the master, here's what we does: we brings our nice troopses back home where they belongs. Yes, every last one. No sense keeping them far away in Iraq, is there precious? We has hosts of orcs to do the same job much much faster. When they takes prisoners, they cleverly eats them right away, and photographers too. Nice crunchy camerases!

Much more sensible, see? So we hopes they elects ussss. Now, musssst find fisssssh. Mmmm, raw and wriggly...

Posted by gollum at 02:55 PM

May 09, 2004

Rummie

We wonders, doesn't we precious, why everyone is being so nasssty to that Mr Rumsfeld. We likes him, we does.

Maybe, after the nice voterses elects us, we offers him a position in our Cabinet, hmmm? The Mouth of Sauron could use some time off, couldn't he, precious? Yesssssss.

Posted by gollum at 02:10 PM

May 17, 2004

Nassssty

Ssssssss. Nassssssty hobbitses.

Posted by gollum at 02:26 PM